Queen in a House of Blue: 006

Yesterday wasn't real. Please tell me that I'm in a nightmare and I'll be waking up tomorrow. As I sit her with tears streaming down my face, I replay yesterday over and over. I will never forget getting a phone call from one of my friends saying that I need to call and check on Ash because there were ambulances and cops in her front yard. Well with a few unanswered calls and text, I had to go see her. The whole way over, my heart was pounding, I called Chris just to talk to his answering machine because I was so scared, I was thinking positive and wasn't preparing for the worst. When I turned on to her street and seen the ambulance, 3 cop cars, and her mom standing outside screaming, my heart stopped. I pulled in across the street and asked how long the cops had been there and she said a while, that they had be in and out of the house with gloves and a lot of tears were being shed. I refused to believe the worst, its not possible. Ashleys Grandpa lived next door and his caretaker was outside, I walked over, told her who I was and she just kept saying, "its bad, its so bad." I still refused to THINK of the unthinkable. She told me that Ash's babies were inside and I went with them, and the first thing I seen was Tay crying, I couldn't do this. But I swollowed my fear. Tay just kept saying "my mommy is dead". At this point, I couldn't help but think the worst. After awhile we started playing games and having tickling wars. I couldn't bring myself to leave them. As I was playing I texted Chris, I needed him to be there and wanted him to be there with me, even though he couldn't because he was at work. Well around 10:30 I got a call from Sacha, and she told me what I dreaded to hear. I kept telling her "I can't do this".. this isn't real!!! As I took a break outside, I was standing in the rain thinking these are all the tears that are being shed for you right now, then I happened to glance up and I seen the Kirby van pull up, then reality sank in. I couldnt bring myself to move so I stood there tears building up, and they brought her out and put her in the van... thats the last time I would see you body, but not your soul. I will meet you at the gates one day and I will never let you go.